Alex Fejer
1965 –2024
This page is a celebration of the life of my brother Alex Fejer, who died on 29 February 2024.
An obituary of Alex's life appeared in the Daily Mail, on 9th August 2024. If you want a PDF version this can be downloaded:
Rainbow clothes, bright nailpolish, and Status Quo were the order of the day at Alex Fejér’s funeral on 6th April at the Crematorium. The service was conducted by Rev Tiffer of St Marys Church, where Alex was confirmed in 2019. Friends and family packed the St Edmunds Chapel to celebrate the life of a popular character in town, and “the sweetest soul”.
“Despite learning disabilities, Alex lived his life to the full. And so should we,” said brother-in-law, Geoff. “That, not the sadness, should be the thought we carry with us as we say our final goodbyes. “
Obituary and letters the Bury Free Press
"The brightest star in the sky"
Charlotte, Support Worker
Alex with his key worker Roseann. Along with other residents and support workers at his supported living facility, Alex shared many adventures and happy times, including trips to the seaside and Disney World Paris. Despite his learning disabilities he was able to live a relatively independent life.
"Alex was the most caring, loving, gentle soul, the world has lost a special person."
Suella Hall, Mencap Manager
"I met Alex 40 years ago, as I studied at university with his sister Juli. I remember an extremely kind and sensitive teenager that loved life and loved people. I especially remember him spiritedly smiling, singing and dancing along to Come on Eileen. To love and be loved so dearly by family and close friends throughout your life is truly something exceptional. Rest peacefully, Alex."
Peter Callow, family friend
Alex enjoyed every day to the max even when he was too weak to walk, he enjoyed going round the market and looking at the stalls.
Even though Alex was very weak, he was determined to walk his sister down the aisle to marry her long-term partner Geoff. The ceremony took place on 6th February at the Guildhall in Bury St Edmunds. As Alex and Juli came down the aisle, Alex gave a cheeky thumbs up which had everyone laughing.
"We enjoyed witnessing Alex walking you down the aisle at your Partnership ceremony a few short weeks ago. And it was so uplifting seeing Alex displaying his great sense of humour as he walked with you ! It was a great privilege to meet and talk to Alex again during the celebratory drinks afterwards.
Stephen Bath, family friend
"I could not have asked for a more loyal and loving friend."
"Alex was such a strong personality and force for good that it will take a long time to come to terms with his death. Despite our different paths through life, we shared many of the same pleasures: 1970s pop music, Laurel & Hardy, good food, exploring our surroundings, and the gentle acceptance of friends who take us as we are. It was a particular joy and reassurance to me when Alex embraced the Christian faith that shaped his character and influenced his formative years. I could not have asked for a more loyal or loving friend."
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John Christian, lifelong friend
In the 1980s the family moved from London to Bury St Edmunds so Alex could have more independence and opportunities. Alex went to the West Suffolk College and held down several jobs including working on a farm, collecting trolleys in a supermarket, and working in a sheltered factory.
Alex was the sweetest soul, with beautiful manners and old world charm which he learned from his Hungarian father.
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Alex would always ask you how you were. Even in the hospital, when he had been given news of his awful diagnosis, he said ruefully to the Consultant, "I suppose I ought to shake your hand."
"Heaven has gained the best tea and coffee maker."
Rachel, Support Worker
Alex participated fully in the life of his supported living house, helping others and always enthusiastically joining in with activities. He was always the first to answer the door or offer any visitor a cup of tea.
In 2019 Alex was confirmed at St Mary's church in Bury St Edmunds. Although his attendance at services had fallen off in Covid he had faith and enjoyed praying with his friend John Christian, and with friends from St Marys.
In 2011, Juli's 50th birthday, with Alex and mum.
Juli and Alex were always very close. They shared many happy holidays together, both as a family and with their mum.
Alex loved working with the heavy horses and other animals at Rede farm, here he is with one of the horses in 2003.
As a young child Alex benefited from activity holidays where he learnt confidence and was away from the family for a few days.
When he had completed his schooling, he went to college in North Wales. Alex used to talk about it a lot, and I was never sure how much he enjoyed it!
Alex was born in the mid-1960s, at a time when "mentally handicapped" children were neither seen nor heard. Our parents refused to go along with that orthodoxy. Alex was brought up at the centre of our loving family despite the damage to his brain caused by having measles as a baby.
